Utterly Brilliant Thoughts: I Hate Fortune Magazine
I Hate Fortune Magazine

I just read Fortune's "100 Best Companies to Work For" report. This was a mistake. First of all, surprise, my company's not on the list. Yeah, who would've guessed? Second, did you know that some companies actually pay 100% medical & dental benefits, 100% tuition reimbursement, maternity & paternity leave including the month BEFORE your due date, AND offer adoption benefits, 401k & profit sharing, onsite daycare, 16 paid holidays plus sick days plus vacation days . . . I could go on & on. Lastly, are you aware that a customer service rep at Smucker's, Nordstrom salesperson & Fed Ex courier ALL have a higher average salary than I do? PLUS benefits! Benefits like you can't even imagine! Benefits other than "ridiculously short commute" & "can design & print wedding programs at work"! Sigh. That's okay. I've made it possible for my boss to build a new villa in Florida, install a home theater system in his other home & spend a third of the past year on vacation while I run the company. You just can't put a price on that kind of achievement, can you? Apparently not, since I haven't even seen a cost-of-living wage increase this year.

God, I need to sell my house.

BTW, don't you just adore Anne Taintor? Me too. Maybe I should just move to New Mexico & work for her. Probably she'd hardly ever say "What happened with the thing?" and then get mad when I didn't know what "the thing" was. Or call me at home on a Saturday morning to ask what the FedEx number is. Or tell me that I should put half of my salary in a secret account, so that I'll have it when my marriage fails. Probably. Of course, she might not greet me with "hi, sexy" either and where would the modern workplace be without a little soupçon of sexual harassment?

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