Utterly Brilliant Thoughts: What I Have Learned This Week
What I Have Learned This Week

And isn't it nice of me to pass my vast, hard-earned knowledge on to you? You're welcome.

  • Yes, it is possible to have the exact same bronchial infection twice in one season.
  • No, going to the doctor at the first sign of symptoms will not stop said bronchitis from knocking you on your ass, nor will it lessen the severity or longevity of the symptoms. You will just be $30 poorer.
  • The noxious "butterscotch flavored" liquid that your doctor prescribes does not, in fact, taste remotely like butterscotch or anything else even vaguely palatable, will make you shudder every single time you take it & will not lessen the severity or longevity of the symptoms.
  • Benadryl is your friend. It will not lessen the severity or longevity of the symptoms either, but you will be too looped to care. Must be taken while lying down, preferably somewhere you don't mind spending the next 6 to 8 hours.
  • Prime time television, even basketball & SpikeTV, is positively fascinating when you're delusional.
  • And finally, yes, even a #1 ranked, undefeated team can completely disintegrate in front of your eyes & throw away the most important game of the season. I still love you, Coach Tressel!

Needless to say, I have been even less productive than usual this week. Laundry? What's that? You mean that pile of clothes that I washed & dryed & then left sitting in the basket for 2 days so that it is so hopelessly wrinkled, it will all have to be washed & dried again? Yeah, I guess laundry needs to be done. And cleaning, which I can tell you now isn't going to happen. Plus I have a whole mess of wedding stuff to list on eBay or craigslist (only 14 months after the wedding, way to stay on top of things!*), birthday presents to wrap for two nieces & of course our house isn't going to pack itself. Because the house? It is lazy. I, however, am going to get motivated & get some of this crap done. As soon as I run out of Benadryl.

*Anyone need a custom-made strapless wedding dress or twelve grapevine-&-some-kind-of-berry-type-thing pew decorations? Anyone? No? Damn.



Anonymous Nicole said...

wait a minute... are you really selling your wedding dress? or is that just the fever talking?

Post a Comment

<< Home