Tummy Trouble

This is our fat cat, Lemieux. He's, well, not normal, but we love him. Yesterday, Lemieux apparently climbed up onto the back of one of our living room chairs & managed to knock a vase filled with dried palm fronds from the mantle onto the floor, whereupon he evidently considered it his own personal smorgasbord. Perhaps this is a sign he needs more fiber in his diet. In any case, since then, he's been vomiting, lethargic & not eating. Yes, that's right, I said NOT EATING. For a 22+ lb. cat, that's serious business. Lemieux is, obviously, a gourmand whose definition of "food" is rather fluid. Kitty treats, French fries, cereal, ribbon, lint, bugs . . . it's all yummy to him. This time, though, there have been repercussions to his gluttony.

I do not consider myself a Crazy Cat Person. I do not take my cats with me wherever I go, I do not dress them up in little outfits, I do not take them to have their photo taken with Santa Claus & I do not buy my mom needlepoint pillows that say "My Grandchild Is a Cat". (You're welcome.) But that doesn't mean that our cats aren't part of the family. And when someone in your family is sick, you worry.

I worry like Lemieux eats - with reckless abandon. While logically I know that he ate something he shouldn't & now has a tummy ache, that doesn't keep my twisted little brain from thinking, "what if those palm fronds had some kind of chemical on them & he's been poisoned?" or "what if they get wrapped around his intestinal tract & he dies?". In my mind, it is always The Worst Case Scenario. God, I hope I can get some kind of Xanax drip prescribed before we have kids.